I’m not saying that I’m an amazing actor but i HAVE won as many Oscars as Leonardo DiCaprio
let’s be honest we’re all just reblogging that as long as we still can
on the internet:
in real life:
i may not be your cup of tea but i’m your 10th shot of tequila
Posted this before but I’m gonna repost it goddammit
I forgot about this.
[walks around with an entire big mac in my mouth but never actually biting down] It’s a metaphor, see: you put the killing thing right between your teeth, but you don’t give it the power to do its killing.
making fun of your kid for enjoying the things they enjoy is the quickest way to make them feel so completely isolated from you that they are more comfortable talking to strangers on the internet than you about their problems
You know when you’re little spoon and sleeping with someone and you wake up a little and scoot your butt and back towards them and they just so happen to be awake too and pull you in closer and you fall back asleep? Yeah. That.